Why Is Change So Difficult?

What makes people want to change? The question was “want to” not “think they should”. There is a great deal of difference between wanting to change because one internally desires to move toward a greater experience and feeling one needs to change because of outside pressures. Yet we often must deal with both.

What Is Change? How Does It Make Us Feel? There are two kinds of change. That which we cannot control (outside pressures) and that which you can control (internal desire). Both types of change can be challenging, but we feel better about making changes if we can have some control over the process if not the outcomes.

Many times we find ourselves fighting change rather than accepting it or creating it because we’re afraid of losing something we care about, something familiar that is more comfortable and less threatening than something we know little or nothing about.

 

What Sets Leaders Apart?

How we handle change is an indicator of our leadership capabilities. Leaders anticipate change; they create it rather than waiting for it to engulf them and leave them in a state of turmoil,” says community activist Lorraine Matusak. David La Chapelle describes this turmoil in “Navigating the Tides of Change” as “a difficult paradox in that the more we know where we are going, the less we know about ourselves. The more we know about ourselves, the less we know about where we are going.” This is a difficult transition to make and we find that the more we know about ourselves the more we trust we are going in the right direction. Leading change by internalizing it and moving towards a greater experience allows us to develop a deep appreciation for that which we do not yet know. Involving others in the change is essential in a healthier experience personally, professionally and universally.


Sometimes things change and stay the same! How you react to change depends on your point of view – whether the change is good or bad. As much as people don’t want to change or are afraid of change, change is constant! Change is not a destination, but an ongoing process. What adds to our discomfort is that we are continually creating programmed routines. How often do you find yourself suddenly at work (or home) and don’t remember the drive? That is because it has become a programmed routine. That doesn’t mean that if someone had stepped out in front of your vehicle you wouldn’t have seen him or her and consequently run them over. Your mind would have recognized the change in the situation and responded appropriately. Most changes will demand that we re-script hundreds of these routines and subconscious cues.

Why Do I Need to Embrace Change?

So, again, why is change so difficult and why is it needed? What if you are happy just the way you are? As Mike Vance said: “What if Henry Ford said ‘what is wrong with the horse and buggy?’ What if Thomas Edison said: ‘candles are fine.’ What if Michaelangelo said, ‘I don’t do ceilings!’

Change is difficult because it requires a rearrangement of our conscious and subconscious workings of our brain and that’s hard work! Another key factor is that adults need to hear something seven times before they remember it, making “catching up” to change a long process. We all have different learning styles. We all have different ways of receiving and using information so some of us will change quicker than others. We know that if we can combine a number of methods of learning we can shorten the amount of time it takes to create change.In any change 2.5% of those involved will be the innovators or initiators. 10-15% will be immediate acceptors (go directly from current reality to the vision). 20-25% will be early adopters and move quickly along the meandering path to the vision. 25% will be late adapters and will need help from the first three groups in order to find their way to the vision. Another 20-25% will be skeptical and will resist the change and may not get there. 10-15% will be hard core resistors and will either come along or leave, but they will certainly fight first. This isn’t all bad though, as resistance is required for change to take hold. This is all part of the adult learning cycle and behavioral change.

What is The Adult Learning Cycle & Behavioral Change?

We believe that building belief is an important factor. By belief we mean that trust is high and everyone believes in the need to change. To build belief you must be genuine and share with others your values and deep beliefs. First, state clearly what does not change and then the need for the change. Trust others and share the needs for change. You might share your beliefs through a series of books or presentations. Show your passion. It is difficult to lead change if there is no passion. Passion inspires others to be passionate.

Creating a shared vision is equally important. Sharing the visioning process helps to create participatory change. Others see the need for change through their own eyes and it begins to become an internal need for change as much as an external one.

Building a network of believers helps to keep the process moving and on track. You should engage the immediate and early adopters as your group of believers. Encourage them to create a colorful, but short and direct story about the change and tell it constantly and consistently. Remember that adults need to hear things at least seven times before they remember it. This is holding up the vision and making it Personal!
Create teams to work toward the vision. Strategize with them to determine what needs to be done to achieve the vision or change. Allow them to work in teams to begin completing the tasks that they identify as necessary to move towards that new vision. And be sure to implement what teams come up with. If you cannot, then be sure to explain why it cannot be done.

 

Let’s CELEBRATE!!!

Take the time to CELEBRATE!!! CELEBRATE!!! CELEBRATE!!! CELEBRATE!!! The short-term wins as well as the long-term wins. You might even find it appropriate to celebrate the lessons learned during the process. Remember to be tolerant of mistakes. Mistakes encourage exploration. Exploration leads to innovation and a positive affect on the bottom line. This may be hard to do because of our Western “conditioning”. Here in the U.S. we discourage even our students from making mistakes in school. The mistakes made are frowned upon and even punished. The lesson often learned is “don’t take the risk of trying something different, you’ll only be punished and even ridiculed for it”. In Japan, students are encouraged to make mistakes. The mistakes are even celebrated. They are celebrated because the student was courageous enough to take the risk and to learn from the mistake. These lessons learned early in life form our adult behaviors. Encouraging your employees to take calculated risks and chance making a mistake could be an important learning tool in your organization. It helps to keep the lines of communication flowing and knowledge captured and shared in a positive light.

Periodically review, renew and recommit. Ask “What have we accomplished? What else needs to be done? What steps do we take next? Is our vision still valid?” It is also important to integrate new people who come into the company and the people who are late adapters as they begin to see the need for the change. If you are taking this journey by yourself, you can still adapt to this change process for yourself!

Whether you are leading a person, a business, nonprofit organization or family, include others in the process and you will all grow from it.

Tune in as I dive deeper into things you can be doing to combat menopausal changes that interfere with your best life!

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