What the Hell is Happening to ME?

There comes a time in a woman’s life when the kids are grown, maybe you’ve been through a divorce or two and you’ve been successful in your career and you think, “is this all?” “Who am I anyway?” Sometimes it happens in your 40s, 50s or even your 60s and you begin to wonder what you’ve been missing. Let me tell you what happened to me.

My kids were growing into their own lives, my international CPA business humming along and I realized one morning that I wasn’t doing what I thought I wanted to do. I hadn’t really given it much thought actually, accounting had always come easy to me, but it wasn’t really something I wanted to do my whole life. Sure, it gave me a good lifestyle and I could afford to buy the things, have the vacations and pay for the kids’ activities, but who was I? I mean besides a Mom, an ex-wife, daughter, entrepreneur…who was Debbi-Jo Horton? What did SHE want?

Who Am I?

Have you ever been there? At that crossroads between having everything you want…or is it everything someone else thinks you should want?

You aren’t alone. The more I talk with people, the more I realize that it is life-giving you the opportunity to assess your life so far and make changes if you decide that you want to make those changes. Give yourself the time and space to explore the possibilities. I don’t mean go have an affair or make some split-second life-altering decisions, but take the time to really think about what you want your future to look like and who you want to bring along with you. Really think long and hard about it and surround yourself with people who can be honest with you about giving you feedback on those thoughts and plans. If you need to seek out a professional – whether it be a psychologist or a life or business coach, do it. It will be one of the best investments you can make in your future.

What Does Menopause Have to Do With It?

Often the first undetected signs are emotional ones. Doubt, aggravation, and other emotions can catch you off guard creating unexpected havoc in your life. You are not alone and you will survive it. Your relationships might not be if you aren’t careful, but if you are aware of what is starting to happen, you can take steps to reduce the fluctuations happening in your body and your mind.

As we live our lives things are happening within our bodies that we might not be aware of. Even in our 20s, our production of collagen begins to taper off. Why is this important? It helps to regulate our hormones. It is crucial for our skin health and elasticity just to name a few.

During our teen years, hormones can throw off our circadian rhythm messing with our sleep cycle and increasing our cortisol levels (the stress hormone). If we don’t listen to our parents and try to rein in these patterns, it can set us up for illness and premature aging of our bodies.

I’ll take a deeper dive in future blogs on ways to help prevent or correct some of these changes, but for now, just know that there are things that you can do – habits you can create over time to set yourself up for a healthy, successful life that you desire.

Most people equate menopause with the dreaded hot flashes. Those are just one of the many symptoms. Lack of sleep or energy – perhaps even both; waking in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and then not being able to get back to sleep. Perhaps not falling asleep at all until just before the alarm clock goes off….sudden changes in your skin and hair start happening, and you might even start losing your hair at an alarming rate. You can also find that you are gaining weight around your midriff even though you haven’t changed your eating habits and diet and exercise don’t help the way they used to. That stubborn spare tire just won’t go away!

All your life you should be paying attention to making healthy choices, but often we don’t start until we get too uncomfortable with the consequences. Making small adjustments in your daily habits can begin to start to unwind those consequences, but start early and make changes that you can keep up with. Making BIG changes all at once doesn’t usually stick unless it is a life or death situation, but even then many people have the unfortunate attitude that it is their destiny and they cannot change their path. BULL! Don’t take the easy, negative way…if you think living and dying an uncomfortable, unhappy life and dying too young is easy. Making small but impactful changes and creating healthy positive habits will make all the difference even in the end when you are facing death.